Wednesday, 9 July 2008

It's been a while............

This is a long story but I will try and keep it as brief as I can.

It's nearly going back 10 years since I saw my grandmother (Dad's mum).

Unfortunately my gramma has had it in for my mum for a very long time. When our Josh was born I visited my gramma and she started to treat me a little like she had treated my mum. I swore that was it............"I'm not going to let her do that to me too!!!". So in all of these years I haven't visited her.
The sad part about all of this is that our kids didnt know her all this time either.

A couple of months ago a relative of ours mentioned that she was visiting her grandmother. Our Tammy was fascinated that this relative's grandmother was still alive and talked about it for quite some time. It really got me thinking how terrible it was that our kids didn't know that they still had a great grandmother alive. I just felt awful.

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I visited my mum and dad. So on the journey to visit my folks I gave a quick rundown to the kids about my gramma. They were a little stunned at first I think and then proceeded to ask questions.
When we arrived at the Hostel where she lives I was so nervous. I explained how I was feeling to the kids and they were really great and just held my hand and told me it would be ok.
So in we go to the hostel. A kind nurse showed us to gramma's room and in we all walked.
I went over to her and gave her a big hug and was quite overwhelmed by the whole thing I just cried. I couldn't believe how great she looked - just how I remembered her the last time I saw her. She is coming up for 93 next month - boy I'd be happy looking like her at 70 - I wish!!!!!
She asked me what was wrong. I couldn't answer her and just wiped the tears away. I then introduced the kids to her. She was so pleaesd to see us all. We probably stayed for about 40 mins. The kids were getting a little restless and I must admit that it was enough for me. I needed to go and clear my head. The relief as I walked away was great. I had been carrying the guilt around with me for 10 years - something I hadn't really shared with anyone except for Sean. I have forgiven her for what she said to me that last day and I am ready to move on.
It was a great day and I am truly thankful.

Just had to share it with you as it means so much to me.

Luv Sandie


Renee said...

OH Sandie...this had me tear up because I can only relate. My dad's mom was so mean to me as a kid -very mentally abusive and said some awful awful things to me...well, I never saw her again. She past away about 10 years ago - and I never got the chance to forgive her. I am glad your visit was a good one - that you were able to put some of that behind y'all and move forward for the grandkids. Bless your heart! What a treasure! big big hugs !

Sandie said...

Thanks Renee. It's probably one of the hardest emotional things I've ever done.
I feel for you with your grandmother. It always comes down to what we can cope with at the time doesn't it?
Thanks for dropping in and listening matie.

Luv Sandie

scrapbook CAPITAL said...

Oh Sandie, that is so wonderful you could do that not only for your kids but for you too. You would never have forgiven yourself if you had missed that opportunity.... sending you big cyber (((hugs)))

Sandie said...

Thanks Lorrie.......great to see you the other day.
Thanks for popping in.
Need to catch up for another cuppa I reckon.

Luv Sandie

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this made me cry .....
You are a very strong woman to forgive like you did not only for your kids , but for you also.....
Just beautiful......
luv marg x

Cindy said...

Awwwww...well done darlin ! How courageous of you :) *hug*